It’s common to feel unsure where to begin in a therapy session. Some people come in with a specific topic to unpack or a long list to discuss, while others come to therapy knowing they “need help” but may not have the language to describe their experience just yet.
It can be daunting to sit in front of a therapist, know you need help, and not know where to begin. Perhaps you’re someone who has been going to therapy and things are going well, but you feel there’s more work to be done and you’re not quite sure how to tell your therapist.
Below are some ideas to help you get the most from your session:
Take a few moments to reflect prior to your session.
Fortunately, taking a few moments to reflect before your session can be a really helpful way to get clear on what you need from your upcoming appointment. This might look like reviewing your most recent journal entries, looking back at your calendar to see what’s happened between therapy sessions, or taking a moment to pause and scan your body for sensations or emotions.
For those of us who feel short on time, it can be helpful to do this on your drive to therapy (if you’re attending in person) or a few moments before logging on to your virtual session.
Be honest with your therapist.
Some of the best sessions happen when we come into therapy with no plan or expectation. Being honest can feel vulnerable, but it also allows your therapist to meet you where you are. Being honest can look like saying:
- “I don’t know where to start today. Can you help me find a place to begin?”
- “I have been feeling better, but I also feel like there’s more work to be done. I don’t know where to go from here.”
- “I feel stuck, and it feels like things are not getting better.”
Being honest and open allows your therapist to better support you. It’s not uncommon for a therapist to ask more questions about what you mean, review your treatment plan with you, or discuss your session frequency.
Review your original goals.
When people first start therapy, they typically have specific goals they would like to work toward. Where we start is not typically where we end, as goals are often jumping-off points for deeper conversations. Therapy is complex, and many topics are usually discussed. While this can be helpful, it can also be overwhelming.
Reexamining your original goals can be tremendously helpful in reorienting yourself to your needs and measuring your progress. This allows you to take inventory of what has shifted, improved, worsened, or remained the same. This is especially helpful to do with your therapist so they are aware of your process.
Ask questions and be curious.
Do you ever feel curious about how your therapist is conceptualizing the work you’re doing? Do you ever wonder what they meant when they mentioned a specific modality, observation, or reflection? Do you often feel confused by something your therapist said? Ask them.
It might feel intimidating to ask for clarification, but this is, first, a great life skill to practice in a safe space and, second, incredibly helpful to the therapeutic process. By being curious and seeking clarification, you increase your chances of gaining new insights while also providing feedback to your therapist about what does and doesn’t work for you.Therapy is a relational and collaborative process. These are simply tools to help you make the most of your session time while also building a stronger relationship with yourself, the work you’re doing, and your therapist.